


Straight to You

by TransLunar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 01:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5187728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransLunar/pseuds/TransLunar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Each verse of the song Straight to You (specifically the Josh Groban version) influences a specific life with an intertwining plot but individual stories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Straight to You

_The towers of ivory are crumbling_  
_The swallows have sharpened their beaks_  
_This is the time of our great undoing_  
_This is the time that I’ll come running straight to you_  
_For I am captured straight to you_  
_For I am captured one more time_

c. 851 - Shinganshina District

Levi made his way down through the dark corridors, a single candle lighting his way. The moon and stars were hiding behind clouds, or possibly smoke and Titan steam that was still rising from the city outside. He was supposed to be on his way to the interior with Eren in chains in just a few short hours. But there was something keeping him awake that was different than his usual insomnia. He was running out of time and he knew it.

As he saw the bars of the cell, he gave a small whistle to announce his presence. He heard the chains rattling and saw hands wrapping around the bars just before he got close enough to see inside. His heart clenched at the sight of the boy staring at him with eyes full of wisdom and pain far beyond his years. He took a moment to remember when that started to change. Eren used to be stubborn and rebellious, unable to hide his emotions no matter how hard he tried. At least that last part hadn’t changed.

“Captain.”

It was a whisper, even though everyone else in the building was asleep or too lost in their own thoughts to care much for what was going on in the cellar.

Levi said nothing, setting the candle on a little shelf in the bars used for setting a bowl of soup to feed the prisoners. He watched as the warm light flickered in green eyes, heaving a sigh that didn’t fully reflect how heavy he felt. He wrapped the fingers of one hand around a bar, his pinky finger wrapping half over Eren’s pointer finger, and the boy leaned his forehead against the bars, unable to keep his eyes from welling up.

“I meant what I said, you know,” Levi finally spoke, matching the volume of the previous whisper. Even if no one could hear, this was a personal and private moment that he didn’t want even the gods to hear. “All of it. We still have a chance if we go now.”

“No,” Eren choked, burying his eyes in the crook of his own elbow, wiping away the moisture and getting a better grip on himself. “I couldn’t live with myself if we ran. I can barely live with myself as it is.”

“I don’t want to kill you,” Levi said, showing the first hint of emotion since they had reclaimed wall Maria. A successful confrontation to retake the city and method of expanding territory led to the aristocrats and merchants believing there was no longer a need for Eren’s Titan ability. He was scheduled to be executed at Levi’s hand in the capital and labeled a martyr, but it was blatant murder. He’d thrown a right fit in Erwin’s office as soon as it was announced and everyone had left. But unfortunately, the commander had no way to control the riots that were beginning to break out in the inner cities, and even Eren had said he wouldn’t have it another way.

“I know,” Eren said. “I don’t want you to have to go through that either.” He paused, eyes full of defeat, but acceptance. “We dug ourselves too deep, didn’t we? I mean, we knew from the start you would eventually kill me.”

“Don’t say you regret it,” Levi said with a dangerous tone. “I don’t think I could handle that.”

“I could never regret it,” Eren said in a rush. “I’m just saying we should have seen this coming. What could we ever have thought would happen? That we could somehow grow old together in a world without Titans when I fucking am one?”

“I was holding out for a hope that it could be reversed, or that you would be okay without needing to transform again. But you’re right, nothing could be so simple. Not in this fucked up world.” Levi slid his fingers down to run over Eren’s fist around the iron bars. “I guess I got a little lost in you. Started thinking if someone like you existed, then anything was possible.”

“Anything. Not everything.” Eren said as he slid his fingers through Levi’s. “I don’t regret a thing, Levi.” It was only the second time Eren had not referred to him by his rank, and it made Levi’s heart hurt. The first time he said it had been when he told him he loved him for the first time, a few months after they killed Rod Reiss and Historia took the throne.

And now he was saying it as they said goodbye.

“I thought about asking them to get someone else to do it…” Levi said carefully. “But I promised no one else would hurt you ever again. So I’ll do it, if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t want it,” Eren said with a rueful smile. “But I am asking you to. I think I won’t be as scared if it’s you. Just… if they ask you to use your blades, could you refuse and find an alternative? I want to die as a human, not as a Titan.”

Levi couldn’t handle it. His face twisted in a pain he hadn’t felt since his first expedition, his first time losing his friends, and tears fell from his eyes. He nodded, looking at their intertwined fingers.

“I can do that,” he said. His voice was calmer than he was, even if his throat hurt.

“And promise me one thing?” Eren said, reaching his free hand through the bars to wipe the tears from Levi’s face. “Please don’t feel guilty. Don’t let this stop you from living that free life that we can’t have together. See the ocean for me. Find lands of frozen tundra and mountains. See it for me. If you see it, I’ll surely see it through you. I can’t imagine myself being apart from you even in death.”

“Stop,” Levi choked out. “Please…” He suddenly wished he believed in life after death like Eren did. He would try to pretend, but he didn’t know if it would work for very long. “I don’t know if I can keep that promise. Don’t ask me…”

Eren gave him a soft smile as his own tears began to fall. “Okay. Can you stay with me until then? Despite what I said, I’m scared.” Levi nodded and leaned against the bars, catching the boy’s lips with his own.

“I’ll stay with you,” he said. “I love you, Eren. I’m sorry I didn’t say it more.”

“You said it plenty,” Eren said. “I didn’t need to hear it to know it. I am a little sad that I’ll die a virgin, though.”

Levi scoffed.

“You’re the one who wanted to wait,” he retorted. “Though we never really had the time or opportunity.”

“Mm,” Eren agreed. “In a way, it makes it a bit more romantic. Such a pure love. I hope we get written about in fairytales.”

“No one would read such a depressing fairytale,” Levi countered. “Well…. Maybe I would.”

Eren chuckled at him.

“This is why you’re such a jaded old man.”

Levi didn’t have the emotional energy to banter any more.

“We have about an hour before we leave,” he said softly. “I’m not really supposed to be down here, considering. But it’s Armin who’s slated to come get you, so I think it’ll be all right if I come into the cell, as long as we’re both here and cooperative.” The mention of the blonde put Eren in a slightly awkward mood, but he nodded.

Armin had come up with the plans that had pushed the advance of humanity, with some help from Erwin. It was only after things were in motion that he noticed the community behaving radically, and was able to tell Eren his predictions of the outcome before the command was ordered. At the time, Eren felt bad for Armin. He would be alone. Mikasa had been severely injured in the retaking of the wall, thanks to Reiner. Levi managed to retrieve her but she wasn’t expected to last much longer in the medical wing. She hadn’t regained consciousness and there was only so much they could do to keep her nourished.

Armin, Jean, and Historia were the only ones from the 104th training squad to make it out alive, as of now. Eren’s thoughts were brought back to the present as the cell was unlocked and Levi came inside, locking it back and tossing the keys across the hallway so no one could accuse them of trying to escape. Even then, some nobles would probably try to make it seem that way, if word got out. Eren let him lead him to the cot in the corner, his chains dragging along the stone ground.

Levi sat leaning against the wall and Eren reclined against his chest. It was far from comfortable, but they were used to being in uncomfortable places. The chains were a new investment, though. At least for Levi. Eren would occasionally sit up and kiss him. It was never very passionate, but it was always intense and full of emotion.

That was how Armin found them, kissing and Eren crying. They had heard him approaching and Eren didn’t want to go. Armin unlocked the cell with the key Levi had tossed away, and simply unlocked the chain that held Eren’s cuffs to the ground, letting Levi carry him out to the carriage.

It was still dark, but the sun was definitely preparing to rise in the east soon. Armin agreed to let Levi ride in the carriage with Eren, as his guard while he and Erwin rode in the front: Armin driving while Erwin navigated, being familiar with the route more than Armin was. The rest of the Survey Corps who wanted to attend would arrive later, only for the execution.

Eren managed to snooze on the ride, having gone simply too long for his body to withstand and the rumbling of the carriage and Levi’s heartbeat soothing his mind. Levi called out just loud enough for the men outside the carriage to hear him and not wake the boy laying on him.

There were stops to relieve themselves along the way, but their speed combined with their abilities to hold it allowed them to arrive in the capital before sundown. Armin took the carriage to wait for them by the stables and feed the horses while Erwin and Levi both escorted Eren into the courthouse.

Eren was familiar with the building already. They were taken to a meeting room on the ground floor to meet with Historia, Dallis Zachary, who was still commander of the military, Nile Dawk, and Dot Pixis. It was an informal hearing, since Eren had agreed to his execution and no debate was needed. It was simply to agree on a specific time and method.

Historia failed to hide her tears, but no one mentioned it. Dawk suggested they behead him, being sure to sever the nape, in case he could regenerate. Eren immediately grabbed Levi’s hand, unable to really speak for himself in his emotional state. That was exactly what he had not wanted. Levi spoke up.

“Eren is doing this willingly,” he said. “He can choose to not regenerate. He wants to die as a human, not as the creature he despises.”

“What do you propose?” Zachary asked. Levi glanced at Eren then back to the head of the military.

“Hanging,” he said. “If calculated correctly, it would break his neck, rendering him dead immediately. It would be painless and he would have no chance to back out and regenerate. No bloody mess to clean up, and he could have a proper funeral and burial.”

Eren stared at the man he loved, tears actually flowing. If it got approved, it would be better than anything he asked for.

“Mr. Jaeger,” Zachary said, bringing the boy’s attention to him. “I know this is a difficult thing for you, and I do appreciate your cooperation in the ordeal.” Dawk had the decency to look ashamed of his involvement, that he was more scared of the riots than of murdering someone who had proven himself on humanity’s side. It hadn’t really hit him until he saw Eren display an emotion that wasn’t anger or a drive to fight. Zachary continued. “I hate to see a child agreeing to die for stupid people who don’t know them. I’m afraid any attempt to do this privately would only rile up the radicals further. But I would at least want to let you decide how you wish to die. It is the least I can do at this point. Do you agree with Captain Levi’s suggestion?”

Eren nodded, still unable to speak.

“Very well,” Zachary said. “We will arrange for an executioner to work the gallows in the courtyard--”

“No,” Levi interjected. “I’ll do it. I promised to take responsibility for him.” Zachary gave him a pointed stare.

“Will you be able to do it?”

Levi swallowed.

“Yes, sir.”

Zachary sighed.

“Very well. Captain Levi, you will receive a small training on how to operate the gallows in the morning,” Zachary said. “Dawk, you will teach him. I know you know how to handle it.”

“Yes, sir,” Dawk responded, unable to meet Levi’s gaze.

“You will also get the proper length of rope set up on the noose at that time,” Zachary said. “Pixis, I can count on you to get the public announcements out through the city, can’t I?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then it’s settled.” He stood, but made no move to leave, staring at Eren. “I give you permission to reside wherever you wish until you are called tomorrow. So long as your hands are restrained and Captain Levi is with you at all times.”

“Th-thank you, sir,” Eren managed, wiping his eyes. His metal restraints were switched with leather ones connected with a thinner chain that he would be wearing to the execution.

Armin was waiting for them by the carriage. Eren hadn’t been able to talk with him or anything since the mission and he had been a bit too distraught that morning to even get a good look at him.

He had let his hair grow long and currently had it pulled back into a low ponytail. He’d also outgrown Eren over the last few months, looking even lankier than before. As Eren approached, Levi beside him, Armin immediately pulled him in and held him tight. He pulled away, eyes wet, but not crying.

“I’m sorry,” Eren said. “But I am happy that you’re alive. One of us has got to see the ocean, right?”

Armin finally let a tear fall as he nodded. “Eren… I just wanted you to know… I really love you. And Mikasa. You guys have been the best friends I could have asked for, and it’s going to be really hard without the two of you. But I wanted you to know how much you mean to me. And I never really said it, even though I probably should have.” Eren gave a small smile.

“I love you too.”

He never saw Armin again.

He spent the night with Levi walking around the city. They passed the remains of the stairway to the underground and they both watched it for a moment, each with their own relevant memories surfacing. Then Levi took Eren by the hand and continued their walk. When they settled in for the night, they found an inn and simply slept.

Eren watched Levi’s lesson in the morning, getting a good look at where he was going to die. He swallowed, not having thought about the actual experience until just now. His last feeling would be falling and a weight on his neck. It was supposed to break his neck, but as a child, he had seen executions where the rope wasn’t long enough and the condemned struggled for a long time as they suffocated. He shook his head, convincing himself that between Armin’s brain and Levi’s determination, they would get the correct length of rope. He briefly wondered if it would feel like flying, going immediately from falling to flying as his spirit left him. 

Towards the end of it, Dawk came up to him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but eventually he could only get out a simple “God speed, Jaeger” before heading on his way. Levi took him to brunch and the captain encouraged him to eat. He managed to get a bowl of soup down, but he was too nervous for solids.

Levi had been good about pretending like he wasn’t going to pull the lever and kill him in an hour. Eren was grateful for that. They finally arrived at the courthouse to wait for the trial to begin. As the townspeople crowded into the courtyard, Eren watched from a window. He was surprised at how many there were, but he was even more surprised that the majority of them were crying already. Less than half seemed to be happy about the event and Zachary’s words came back to him.

I hate to see a child agreeing to die for stupid people who don’t know them.

He frowned. These people were the reason he was dying today.

Levi came and sat at the other end of the window sill, also looking down at the people, his face full of hatred for ripping his happiness away from him simply because they were scared and closed-minded. Eren moved his gaze to the man he loved, watching as his eyes scanned from face to face, more tired than usual, his dark circles more prominent. Neither of them were well-rested, no matter how much sleep they pretended to get.

“Levi.”

Dark eyes met green and the rest of the world began to fade away.

“Promise me you’ll destroy the threat of the Titans,” Eren said. “Promise me you’ll make a world where people are born free and remain free. Free to go wherever they want to, with no walls to cage them like cattle. Free to swim in an ocean of water so vast, you can’t see the other side. Free to learn to fly if they want to. They can’t do it without you. Especially with the recent losses.” He didn’t name names. Section commander Hange had been one of the first to go, and Eren knew it was a huge blow to Levi’s morale. Eren didn’t want to dig that wound deeper.

“No one is always right, Eren,” Levi said, leaning his head back against the wall. “I’ll probably not live to see the conclusion to all this. Who knows how long it will take? But I promise you that I will spend my last breath making sure we’re on the right track to seeing the end.” A single tear fell from the corner of his eye, but he was considerably more composed than the night before they’d left. Eren believed in life after death. So Levi would make sure the world he returned to was a peaceful one. He would give Eren’s next chance at life the best advantage he could, by destroying any semblance of a Titan that he could. And once he was sure that was done and taken care of, only then could he bring himself to join him.

Erwin fetched them when it was time. Levi led Eren into the courtyard through the crowd to the gallows by a lead connected to the leather cuffs. There were murmurs and whispers, some noting the defeated and sad expressions the pair wore, others expressing grief, some laughing and celebrating; a few even commented on the lack of proper military attire, as Levi was wearing casual clothing of a black long-sleeved shirt and slacks with black shoes and Eren was in the shirt and pants from his uniform, but the shirt was untucked and his shoes were cheap things they’d been given for the execution, and were too big for him.

Levi led Eren to his spot on top of the trap door. It creaked under his weight as it was held by a latch connected to the lever beside it. Eren didn’t look at the people. He looked above the buildings at the blue sky. There was a slight breeze and birds flying. He took a deep breath as a voice rang out. He recognized Dallis Zachary’s voice, and kept his eyes on the sky as his sentence and bullshit charges were read for the crowd to hear.

“You may take this time to express your last words.”

Eren’s eyes lowered. Levi was standing right beside him.

“Promise,” he said and smiled softly. He closed his eyes before he could see Levi’s face twist with the sadness and pain. “I love you. Levi.” He didn’t care if they wrote that down as his last words, if they even heard them. He was ready. He felt and heard Levi approach to place the canvas bag over his head, to hide the effects of the hanging from the public so it didn’t seem as grotesque as it truly was.

He was surprised to feel lips against his own, though, and smiled a little as Levi finally slid the bag over his head before the noose. There was a ripple of murmurs through the crowd at the display of affection between the executioner and the executed, but they weren’t interrupted. The rope was tightened behind his head and he felt Levi’s hands slide down his back in his final goodbye.

He was ready.

Levi stared at Eren’s hands, held loosely in front of him as he waited to die. He put his hand around the lever and squeezed the safety lock. He closed his eyes and wrapped his other hand around it as well, then pulled on the lever with all his strength. He heard the squeak of the hinge and the sickening crack as bone snapped. 

He kept his eyes closed and fell to his knees, hands still on the lever, weeping silently as some of the crowd cheered and bells rang in the distance. He couldn’t look. What if the body was twitching, as he’d seen at other executions and deaths? So he stayed kneeling beside it crying into his arms as he thought about what he had just done. He didn’t leave until after the body was taken away to prepare for the funeral, and even longer when it was dark and it had started to rain.

He would have stayed there in the the downpour if Erwin hadn’t come to get him. By then, he couldn’t even cry anymore. He was just empty. He followed his commander inside and changed into dry clothes quietly. He insisted on black for mourning, and no one tried to convince him otherwise. In fact, Armin had changed into the darkest clothes his owned as well, and let his hair down.

When Levi died, many years later, it was from infection. The Titans probably weren’t all gone, but humanity had been expanding territory for years with minimal interruption. Technology was advancing, and humanity seemed to be able to kill a Titan without having to get close enough to be eaten.

He had been sick from the infection for about a week, and Erwin visited him every day. All Levi spoke of was Eren, which led the blonde to believe he had begun hallucinating. So he entertained him, retelling stories from years ago of the Titan shifter and laughing together until Levi forgot and said hello again, asking what happened to his arm or where Hange or Eren were.

When the doctor told Erwin Levi didn’t have much longer, he took him for a walk, pushing him in a wheeled chair through the garden where they were until they came to the shore. The northern side of their territory had quickly ran into an ocean, and Levi had bought a house on the edge of the ocean, often sitting and staring at it as he cried for Eren.

Erwin wasn’t sure if Levi would remember the ocean, but he knew he would have wanted to see it one last time. He parked the chair in Levi’s usual spot and sat beside him in the sand. They were quiet, just watching the water and Erwin checking every so often to make sure Levi hadn’t left him yet.

“You have grey hair,” came the deep voice from the chair next to him. Erwin chuckled.

“So do you,” he said.

“Yeah, but you have more grey hair.” Erwin couldn’t argue with that. Levi had aged much more gracefully than he had. He still looked like he could be in his thirties, if it weren’t for the salt and pepper grey at his temples and his recently acquired sickly look. Not that either of them were very old. Levi had hit forty-seven this past winter.

“I miss him.” Levi sounded so sad it hurt Erwin’s heart. He knew exactly who he meant.

“So do I,” he said. Levi seemed unusually aware.

“He always talked about the ocean,” he said. “And then when I finally saw it, it was the same color as his eyes. It’s not fair that he didn’t get to see it.”

Erwin found it hard to respond, so he just held Levi’s hand.

“That’s the first thing I’ll do,” Levi continued. “I’ll tell him all about it, about how it’s the same color as his eyes, but that his eyes are still more beautiful. Then… Mm…” Levi’s face twisted in pain and Erwin was concerned, but there wasn’t anything he could really do. “Then… I…” He let out a loud growl, trying not to shout in pain, but unable to completely hold it in. He was squeezing Erwin’s hand so tight it hurt. His face was covered in sweat and his breathing was erratic.

Erwin pulled his hand free, trying to take him back inside to be helped, but Levi told him “No.” Eventually, Levi’s pain calmed, and he was able to watch the sun set over the horizon of the ocean. After a moment, Erwin realized he was gone.

Levi was buried beside Eren, and they had iron statues built for them at the capitol as a monument to the advancement of humanity against the Titans.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if it was too sad. I've made myself cry writing it. Especially when I listen to the song while I write and picture what I have planned for future chapters. I know what I want the last two chapters/verses to be, but I'm still working on the setting/time for the 2nd chapter, so it might be slow to update. Still going ahead and posting this since it can kind of stand alone.


End file.
